Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have a pirate flag
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize