life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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