You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize