I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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