My nipple is on Facebook.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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