I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
