It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
