We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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