omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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