I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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