I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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