my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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