Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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