my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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