whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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