She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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