I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize