My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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