Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
