She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
