im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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