It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
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i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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