The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
please come you make the beer taste better
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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