OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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