paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish I only lived at night.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I AM VODKA MAN
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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