she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
