3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
