I think my vagina is haunted
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
