Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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