He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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