Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize