Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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