did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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