I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize