after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
