i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
