The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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