Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
