So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
