just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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