I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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