I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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