I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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