Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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