Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
