Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
