You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I smell like Dick and happiness
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
