Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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