your room smells of hookers.
And success
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize