We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
