she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
