What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
