Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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