Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
