somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
