Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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